I've never been so tired in my entire life. Stacy told me I would feel that when I went home, and until now, it hasn't really applied to me. In fact, I probably should have taken tylenol pm a few nights. But, yesterday, we ran into our first live "training exercise," and since then, I feel like a zombie. You were right Stacy, I need a nap!
So, yesterday afternoon while some friends were over visiting, my nurse yells at me to come into the family room...with urgency. I run in there, thinking she's dropped something, kinked a cord, something along those lines...and instead, I come in to find Joel....blue-faced up to his eyebrows. We suction. Nothing. Suction again. Nothing. I flip on the compressor. Stats stay below 90. She grabs a towel roll. I grab the extra trach, lube....I start loosening the trach ties, and we decided to quickly suction one more time to see if we can free up the airway. BAM. A ton of junk came out. Obstructed airway lesson #1. It took a good 20 minutes to get his color back to normal. He stayed a white-gray for quite a while.
I felt like a deer in headlights.....DID THAT JUST HAPPEN??! Although it scared the living crap out of me, I was a little excited. I did it. We did it. There was nothing to prepare me for that. You get the teaching. You read the books. You try to absorb what you can, but until a situation actually comes into play, you can't practice. You can't practice an adrenaline-high. It was exciting to know that in that situation, I didn't panic. I was completely clear headed. Focused. WOW. I'm still almost in disbelief.
I want to thank all of the staff at Mary Bridge PICU for helping me learn all of the necessities. I know I had a bazillion questions, and bugged you and bugged you for training and lingo and hands-on. I was so scared, and I'm sure there's going to be more times like these in our future. Everything you told me was fresh in my head. Thank you for preparing me as best as you could. I am so thankful for you!