The Sleepover

Yesterday I left the hospital for an overnight stay in Gig Harbor at my aunt's. It was meant to hit three birds with one stone. I would get to see Mia for longer than a usual visit. I could relieve Ralph from juggling work and a two year old while my aunt was at her doctor's appointment. I would test my anxiety of actually leaving the hospital grounds overnight. If I had a nervous breakdown or something happened to Joel, I was a close fifteen minutes away. If worse came to worse, I could hitch a cab.

I was set. The charge nurse let me pick the night staff so I could rest in the fact that someone familiar was taking care of him. It was the optimal time for me to leave if I was going to. He'd had three good days in a row. It was now or next week, so I hopped my ass on a bus, made it over the Narrows, and the sleepover began.

Mia was asleep when I got there. I don't think it would matter if I had 1 child or 30. Hearing Mia wake up from a nap is as much fun as it was when Connor was a newborn. I'd hear him rustling around in his crib, and it was all I could do to keep from sprinting down the hall to be the first one to greet him. Happy and well-rested, their smiles remind me of why I choose to stay home with my babies. We had a good time. We played tea, built duplo towers, and snuggled up watching Nemo until it was her bedtime. Just by watching my little girl in action, I'm puzzled; she's almost a different person. I've missed so much, and it hasn't even been...oh wait, it's...May 4th. It's May. I had my baby in March...I should be home right now. I should be home, no. WE should be home.

As I requested, the nurse texted me his vitals at 4am. They were great; everything was fine, but after that I had to remind myself not to panic. Remind myself that I needed to do this. Continually refocus my thoughts upon the memories I was trying to make with my daughter. Practice what I preach; "be" where I am. Repeat.

I did this to see whether or not I could manage going home for a night, and I found my answer. I will go home for a night- when I can take him with me. :)