I have this issue. It's with the health clinic nurses. And the more appointments I go to, the more my irritation grows. Here's the scene: Inside the room, an intake nurse comes in. She weighs, measures, and gets a sat reading on Joel. She goes to her computer and runs down her "checklist." "Do you have any pets in the home? Does Joel see any therapies? Do you have a wood stove in the home? Does anyone smoke in the home? And then there's this question: "Is Joel considered to be delayed?"
Go for it. Ask me. Is Joel delayed? Yes. He is. He's hitting half of his 9 month marks, and half of his 12 months. Which, by me, is outstanding considering that at 4 months old, he couldn't hold his head up.
But nurses skip over this question. The nurses that know us don't ask, and now even new nurses omit this question. WHY? Why aren't they asking us? Are they assuming that we're still behind? Are they assuming that because of his history he'll always be behind? Are they just trying to save time? Is this supposed to be a sensitive question?
Example: A therapist (who we love very very very much) took a look at Joel's feet when he was standing and suggested that leg braces may be in order when he gets bigger. He stands flat-footed, and she thought that needed correction. Now granted, this is PT's job to correct misalignment, but no one looked over at me. If you saw me walking, you'd notice that I'm near walking on my ankles. My feet are TERRIBLY flat, and so are Connor and Mia's. It was assumed that Joel's habit was because of his physical delay/in- coordination. But it wasn't. It was hereditary.
Now, I'm not rejecting the idea of the possibility of developmental delays with Joel in the future. In fact, I'd say it's more likely statistically that we'll have them than not. And if we do notice something, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But I need the freedom to cross that bridge. There's nothing that pisses me off more than an enabling relative of a disabled child, "Ohhh, we couldn't expect that because he's disabled." Ok, that's a load of crap. How about we expect greatness. How about we expect for God's miracles to happen. Expect for progress to be made. Isn't Joel already showing enough proof of miracles? Proof of progress? Ask me if he's delayed! Just freaking ask me. Quit clicking that damn delayed box without asking me, because one day, VERY SOON, I'm going to be able to tell you "NO."