I don't even know what to say.

It's the holiday season.  And amidst the stress, and the gift buying and wrapping, planning,...all of that, there is the simple fact that I am still among a new crowd of people.  A crowd of people that may or may not still have their miracle babies with them this holiday season.  Some babies never make it to their first Christmas.  It might be a bit of post partum, or me just being emotional as I usually am, but it literally takes me by the throat when I address how this Christmas makes me feel.  While I hear of my normal friends talking about Christmas programs, or what they "got for christmas," I'm also reading of my internet/blog/heart mommy friends....friends who are learning to cope with one less stocking on the mantle.  Jesus saved my son.  We got to spend Christmas with all of our children at home.  Together.  I am blessed beyond measure.