Life Starts Now.

Living each day to the fullest, because we know first-hand just how fragile life can be.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Sunday Sunday

Ok, enough of the "Debbie Downer" crap. I've been in a rut, and it's even been bothering me to listen to my own thoughts. There was a time long ago that I struggled with depression. This is not going to be one of those times. I hold onto something stronger than I am now. Something that doesn't make me hate myself. God is so much bigger than all of this, and that makes me smile....that, and the sun peeking through my window. :) Yeah sure, it sucks to have no privacy, having people come in the room while you're pumping, or crying to your family on the phone, not being able to sing to your child without someone what. It's not going to last forever. Soon I'll be singing too loud in my livingroom again and driving Connor up the walls...

Today is going to be a good day. I can feel it. My precious little bundle is wrapped up tight in a white blanket, and he's sleeping soundly. There's a small leak in his breathing tube, and it makes a noise loud enough to hear him breathing above all of the dayshift beeps and traffic. This IS heaven...even here. Even now. My little boy is alive. That breathing is music to my ears.

1 comment:

  1. I thought of you often while at retreat and prayed for you. I so wish you could have joined us and reveled in God's glory and creation. We had oceanfront rooms on the prom in Seaside.

    I know you are mad at yourself for seeing the cup half empty sometimes. It happens! Me too. Mad for being half empty (myself and the cup). But, I had someone tell me today they think I am one of the bravest women they know. Guess what? I think you ARE the bravest woman I know. God will do great works through Joel and yourself and Adam. Keep up the fight, I'll call you tomorrow. oxoxox Steph